C. Q. D. - The Journal Issues Its First Distress Call. This is a call for help.
The Journal is in distress. Some ten days ago, in making preparations for the gopher gumbo feed which it intends serving to the Rube editors next Monday night after their defeat at the ball game, The Journal contracted for three dozen gophers. The contractor expected a schooner load early this week, but they have not arrived, and The Journal must positively have at least three dozen of the animals by Monday morning. Yesterday we sent out a distress call to several of our Rube contemporaries, but without result. We asked for two dozen, or any.
number, of gophers, but they coldly turned us down. In answer to our telegram, Ed Williams of the Bonifay Advertiser, mockingly wired: "Gopher range absolutely destroyed. Nothing doing. Will terrapins do ?" The Western Union advised that The Journal's wire to old man West of the Panama City Pilot was hung up at Dothan on account of "wire trouble." Just as though we didn't have enough trouble anyway. Larkin Cleveland, editor of the DeFuniak Herald, unfeelingly replied: "Gophers all gone in holes and refuse to come out till after primary election. Make it fish chowder instead."
Now what are we to do? Can anyone help us out? The Journal MUST have those gophers. If there are any in Pensacola or within reach anywhere we must have them. If Harry Thornton, Uncle Albert Riera, or W. A. D'Alemberte or any other of the numerous gopher gumbo connoisseurs have a stray one tied out anywhere, or know.
where to get one, won't you please let us have it? This is something more than a mere perfunctory appeal." It is something more than an ordinary situation. The reputation of The Journal is at stake. The whole town's reputation is in jeopardy. Not only will all the Rube editors be here, but all state and congressional candidates have been invited. We must not disappoint them.
If our friends therefore can just send in a gopher from here and there; one or two or three, it will all help.. If you haven't but one, that will help. But for goodness sake let us have it now. The Journal's friends have never failed it in an emergency and we must rely ON them to help us now. This is not a joke.
It is a serious matter and we want to hear from you at once. club.
